What Are You Still Waiting For?
Waiting, while understandable with so much uncertainty and chaos around us, can be a costly way to live our lives. At work especially, we wait for the right boss, the right timing, the right circumstances. We wait for answers, for certainty about the “right” next steps to take, for clarity (that isn’t coming anytime soon), etc. We wait until we feel more confident, more prepared, more certain we won’t get it wrong.
But (and here’s the catch) while we wait, we quietly give away our power, our agency, our well-being, even our future. Left unchecked, waiting can quietly become the default posture of our lives. Opportunities pass us by, months even years pass by, while most of us don’t even notice that we’re waiting.
We think we’re being prudent, even wise. “Patience is a virtue,” we’re told. And sometimes patience is wise discernment. But waiting, as a way of being, is different. It’s very often fear based and keeps us on pause while life keeps moving.
My Waiting Wake-Up Moment
Years ago, I attended a retreat with Eckhart Tolle, the spiritual teacher and author best known for The Power of Now and A New Earth. If you know his work, you know he embodies stillness and presence in a way that stands in stark contrast to our hyperactive culture.
When he walked on stage, he simply sat in silence. Minutes passed (although it felt like hours). People shifted in their chairs. You could almost hear the collective internal chatter: What’s happening? When will he begin?
Finally, he said:
“I am here to end waiting as a way of being.”
Mic drop.
With those words, my habitual stance in life flashed before me, my default way of being and doing life that I hadn’t even noticed until that moment.
Now, let me pause on that word being for a minute. Waiting, “as a way of being,” doesn’t mean waiting as an action—like waiting in line for coffee, or waiting for the traffic light to turn green, or waiting for the updated sales numbers so you can make an informed decision on whether to continue with the current marketing plan.
I mean “way of being” as the invisible ground from which all our actions arise. Our way of being is the lens, the mood, the orientation that colors everything we do. In over-simplified terms, “way of being” refers to how our attitudes, beliefs, values, and habits shape how we go about interacting with others around us, as well as with ourselves.
Waiting, as a way of being, is often not a conscious choice but rather an automatic response to uncertainty, to fear, to discomfort.
We wait because it feels safer to delay. We wait because we don’t want to fail, or look stupid, or been seen as not competent, or because we want certainty before we move. We wait because somewhere along the line, we learned that holding back was preferable to risking disappointment, others’ judgments, or our own self-criticism.
Habitual waiting doesn’t feel like a choice—it feels like reality. It convinces us that the conditions really aren’t right, that the timing really isn’t good, that we really must wait. But more often than not, waiting is simply our default (often unconscious) response to discomfort, not a thoughtful decision rooted in awareness.
That morning, listening to Eckhart, I suddenly realized I too was waiting as a way of being. I was in an unsatisfying job but scared to leave. I wanted to be an author, but was paralyzed by all the authors I was comparing myself to. I was waiting for clarity to tell me the “right” next move in my career. I was waiting for my finances to feel more secure before I gave myself permission to take a risk. I was waiting for someone to notice my efforts and validate them before I stepped forward.
The truth is, I was waiting for life to give me a permission slip that was never coming.
Waiting is Costly
And that kind of waiting is costly.
When we wait, we outsource our agency. We place the source of our freedom somewhere “out there”, in the hands of the boss, the organization, the economy, the government, the family dynamic. We trade the present moment, where life is actually happening, for some imagined future that may or may not come.
The cost is high. Waiting, as a way of being, leaves us:
Disempowered. We convince ourselves we can’t act until something outside of ourselves shifts.
Resigned. We settle into the belief that change isn’t possible right now.
Burned out. Ironically, the more we wait for external change, the more drained we feel internally.
Paradoxically, life doesn’t wait. Time keeps moving. Opportunities pass. Relationships evolve. Our own energy and spirit contract when left in limbo. Our imagined future seems further and further away.
Waiting at Work
In our places of work waiting as a way of being can show up in a myriad of ways. We wait for more data before making even small decisions. The team waits for the new strategy to be rolled out before they shift direction. You wait for absolute certainty before committing, or for market conditions to settle before taking a bold step. You wait to say something at the meeting, even when you believe it would add value. You wait to have that important conversation with your boss because you don’t know how it will be received. You wait to take the lead on an initiative because you fear your colleagues’ judgments. You wait to look for another job that could be a better fit because you’re told the job market is shrinking.
On the surface, this looks like prudence. But in practice, habitual waiting creates stagnation, erodes morale, and breeds frustration. The “wait until” mindset slows down adaptation in a world that’s moving faster every day.
Choosing Not to Wait
So, what’s the alternative? Choosing not to wait doesn’t mean acting recklessly or forcing outcomes. It doesn’t mean ignoring real obstacles or bypassing systemic barriers.
It means reclaiming the one thing that is always available: your agency to choose how you respond, right now.
Not waiting might look like having the conversation you’ve been avoiding instead of waiting for the “perfect” moment. Starting the project now, even if the conditions aren’t flawless. Speaking up in the meeting instead of waiting to be asked. Taking a walk, reaching out to a friend, or breathing deeply instead of waiting for stress to magically disappear. Piloting small experiments, instead of waiting for a fully baked solution. Inviting feedback early, rather than waiting for flawless execution. Addressing conflict in real time, instead of waiting for it to magically resolve.
It looks like taking the next conscious step rather than waiting for later. And, of course it starts with awareness that you are even waiting as a way of being.
For years since I heard those words at the retreat, I carried in my wallet (now phone) a saying that has been my prompt to ‘not wait’. I don’t even remember who said it but it reads: “Don’t wait to get clear; speak precisely because you are not.”
Because I use to habitually defer to others who I assessed as more wise/intelligent/competent/experienced/well-spoken than me, I would often not share my own ideas or opinions. I was a default defer-er out of fear of being judged. I’ve carried this note to encourage me to speak up, to take the next step, even in the face of my fear or the uncertainty, and trust that clarity will emerge as a result.
Small Shift, Big Impact
The most radical thing about not waiting is that it shifts where you place your power. Instead of locating it in external circumstances and conditions, you bring it back to the present moment and to yourself.
Waiting as a way of being keeps us stuck, keeps us absent from the only time life is happening and that is now, in this moment. When you end waiting as a way of being, you reclaim your capacity to live from presence, from choice, from trust. You stop handing your future over to someone else.
In full confession, I almost waited my book into nonexistence. For years, and I do mean years, I told myself I’d finish it when I had more time, more clarity, more courage. The truth? The only thing that changed was me deciding not to wait any longer. That decision birthed my upcoming book, Uncommon Wisdom at Work, due out in late September, 2025.
Your Invitation
So, where are you waiting?
Waiting for someone else to change? Waiting until you feel more confident? Waiting for your circumstances to improve before you give yourself permission to live, love, and lead more fully? Waiting to be bolder or play a bigger game?
And what would it look like to stop waiting? to take one step, however small, right now?
Your invitation is simple, though not always easy: end waiting as a way of being. Life is already happening. Your agency is already here. Don’t put yourself on hold.